The Five Word Whale Tale

Well the story starts with a website made by Circul8. The website helps save the whales. For Circul8’s gallant work, they won a big global interweb award called a Webby. The Webbys are huge - they’re like the Oscars of the internet. But they need your help… In order to be presented with their award on stage in New York they need to come up with a five word acceptance speech before May 30, 2009.

So we made “The Five Word Whale Tale” to support them on their bravery quest. You can add your five words to the story, to make it the best story ever in the history of the universe!

We want everyone to be involved, so the story stretches from Sydney to New York. For that we’ll need THOUSANDS of authors - and you can be one of them. Here’s the coolest part - their favourite five words in the story will be used as their acceptance speech in front of millions of viewers!

Add your five words, any five words, and be part of the giant whale tale below!

I had the best idea

in the universe

but all of my ideas

are forgotten in five

nanoseconds.

Then suddenly

a new sun rose and

the ocean exploded into a

a thousand doves that flew

around the cliffs of rio

and then they died

and went to hell

because they where bad

.Fortunatelly the hell was closed.

The doves did a flip

and headed out towards the

pearly gates. St Peter said

"Bring me a crab hammer

so i can open this

box of dried zombie brains

so i can make a

really cool helmet. I will

wear it proudly dancing until

the sun comes up bright

". The thousand doves began

their journey to find

the mightiest crab hammer that

they could find. It would

have to be made from

gold plated diamonds!" Said the

leader dove. His name was

funnykins with the rose nose

duck incase your mother asks

He loved being a dove

but it was heavy love

he dreamt of being whale

because they sing cool songs

like rockstars of the sea.

He knew he had to

make haist, becuase 999 doves

were following his brave leadership.

He became the leader because

he once did a bmx

stunt that was so cool

that everybody watching turned into

crazed fans and began running

around in a state of

love and happness before the

they realised that it was

a bigger story and opensource

knowing this meant everything changed

i just added some words

and the story changed like

that! "Wow" everybody said

send it to your friends

if you think they can

make this funny or else

someone is gonna go disco

boogie to Michael Jackson!

Ground control to major Tom

, Snappy Tom that is

, there's a whale in

my burger, which everyone knows

is not really a burger

and is kinda frowned upon

but a frankfurter is great

but less fashionable

. This season dove burgers

are on the menu everywhere

Circul8 rocks New South Whales

. Remember that time

when you sang into my

ear about dove burgers?

No that was Barrack Obama

with his jaunty smile

we are the foosball kings

he declared

with a knowing grin

Can I be Rick James

that its not bacon

but no, back to invoices

the voices in your head?

God save the queen

yo word to your mother

"ma i never liked you"

But that's another story.\

in that mini skirt

That's what she said!

fark man where is PSD?

I thought it was g-string?

no i need a fla

in my big car

what happened to the story?

as the bombs began falling

he ran in a rush

we all got naked

crashed and fell

last night? yeah good shag

slowly people

until Mr T arrived

and noticed the doves

.Funnykins sought the gold dealers

and said yo-bitc**

muket vaker svenska flicka bra

but the doves wanted blood

Back to funnykins looking for

the narrative but alas it

had disappeared. He found it

a crab hammer for St

Peter that was perfect for

An abberation but they continued

to wax lyrically

until the cows came home

and stole the crab hammer!

and editashton plays

and asks for some loving

some sweet tunes to the

small crowd sitting in the

bakery with no obvious name

with a smell

except for Bourke St Bakery

they were all onto Clare

which just got a plug

and Sarah for that matter

when pulled out,

and prefers the real thing

until the cops came

. Funnykins ate a danish

and beat everyone with sticks

and said is that

it was time to obey

and only use plastic!

then throw up on them

Meanwhile, back at the ranch

"find the crab hammer!"

they were smoking some hoohoo

And hunting for mad cows

eating potatos and cream

... mmm delicious ...

when they saw it

,while reading shakespeare and exercising,

what did they see?

throughing the remote and flying

they saw the all mighty

but a cow called Clarabel

aka richard dreyfuss

it was very misleading, bro

saw the CRAB HAMMER!

who held the secret

AND HE YELLED....

friends we haven't met

"I am your GOD"

AND EAT YOUR GREENS

ALL OBEY THE CRAB HAMMER

your mum stole my bike

but I can fly

like Aiya Elise Ting

Ohhh, ha! to hard

"and with that, Clarabel fled

to the hills and far

far far far far far

big mammal fish thing smiles

as octopus passes by

the bakery

eating eight enormous egg rolls

clutching the hammer in hand

Then I started to think

where was I? Obviously

not where I should be.

is this a night-mare?

or just make believe

like my good friend

David Hasselhoff believed his

walrus was made of camembert

and nads where golden bells

in a sea of salt

and they smelt like giant

good luck jamie alana dad

didn't like the taste

whales. jamie, alana, or dad?

shut-up dad!

back to the story...

Giant good luck bells are

sad, they make dead sounds.

Like cattle, they moo mournfully

sorry, Dad

said as he interrupted again

because cows dont like daylightsavings

but they like carrots.

and carrots improve their eyesight

peace and love thats all

the cows said so give

us more pork please

bell biv devo yaknow

was how it sounded out

out of the bovine lips

......Dory and Nemo?

How did you find us?

We looked under the sofa.

and found the crab hammer!

you have read way back!

The doves got the hammer

back to whales please

until fate came to pass

wind on jamies parents

sofa

where the CRAB HAMMER was

ok I give up

! Said the dove leader.

PLEASE look under the sofa

The remaining 999 doves looked

under the sofa again and

GOT THE MIGHTY CRAB HAMMER!

said the whale king

to the doves, go forth

take the hammer to st

Peter at the pearly gates!

and we are all saved?

No, so he can open

heaven opened to the hammer

Crab Hammers for the world

amen

exclaimed St Peter as the

box of dried zombie brains

spewed forth its contents all

over his new Jimmy Choos.

DAMN YOU Jimmy he exclaimed,

my world came crashing down

and fell on stale whales

Google Earth always crashes, but

I wrote too slow! Next

to agnostic beached whales

which beached themsleves on the

window sill by the green

side of that Rio cliff

that smelled a bit fishy

a bit like jaimies parents

sofa. I know MUSCATELS said

in the shiny green car

with the Cheshire Cat on

Tobias got confused and sank.

Deep, deep into my darkest

,just fold me another whale

ears that then dropped off

bouncing silently on the seabed

"Bring me my plankton fool!"

keep those big babies swimming

People need whales need people.

to circul8 the whale tale

Big People For Big Whales

one two maybe three,wow

Silence extinguished the prevailing chaos

Startrek saved whales as well

You and I can too

have ears like dr spock

and save those whales.

So life goes on merrily

here on our beautiful planet

I'm beached as bro

stated the silly New Zealander

so bring me a bucket

,parched too. Champagne anyone?

Only Verve Clicquot for me!

i feel like a tooheys

is 10am too early?

The early bird catches worms!

not when you are back

Broaching Whales Beats Sashimi Tails

Keep their heads tails together

and keeps the oceans alive.

Wailing whales thank you and

tall tales shorten the roadto

the ellusive male quail.

But when you arrive home

everyone was happy with me

and the fish are flying

so thanks and god bless

I pity the fool

but never forget these words

The whales are always listening

how about that Tooheys?

five is the magic number

if you value toes

and your legendary fingers

which have always been known

whos coming for pub lunch

hey are you guys deaf?

burgers, beers, birds? comeon!

and then I drifted away

any chance of a shag

where shall we meet ?

i love my 3 kids

when they are away

from the television which has

alright stop collaborate and listen

Living in the now now!

Dylan only used four words...

Hot saki and cold unagi

make a nice soup.

Is there anything more devine?

Now on with the story:

With the crab hammer found

Once upon a midnight dreary

crawled a crab, awfully weary.

Trying hard to appear cheery

he plodded along and

and searched the ground for

a universal theory.

There wasn't one.

Fat people use more soap.

And with that thought he

understood the true meaning of

lit a smoke

happiness: "love and personal hygiene"

it all made sense now

for, as he stood with

one ear to the ground

totes sweet whale thingy dude

was whispered in his ear

. What was that he

felt slap him firmly on

top of a nice velvety

shell. A playful whale had

where is michael

one two three four five

little pigs trotted past and

and a bottle of rum

rum drinking pigs and

a mystery encounter with love

, love from a salamander

gives a grief too deep

disguised as a shetland pony

in a paddock without grass

J'AAAAAAA AAIIIIIIIIIIIII MMMMMMM EEEEEEEEEEEEE

The whale sang shell songs

the whale became hungry

the whale swallowed the world

. whale it to Bowie

,the only remaining human

clinging to its giant tonsil.

She desperately needed to find

i'm a whale rider

which is a really obscure

reference to my paranormal skills

which I wouldn't know

I had if it wasnt

for the incredible generosity of

people who have a conscience

and told me how they

were affected by my vision

Riding the whale is one

thirsty job. I need beer.

And with that, the terrifying

as he throne was overthrown

here the five words appear

the fishy tuna of fate

its so cold here now

in the alaskan winter seas

Bowie wished for uggboots.

Supercalla fragellistic expi alladoscius!?

Said the Angel casting spells.

And poof, there they were!

Totall Annihilation was upon them.

What a scary day it

was when whales ate uggboots

almost like the time when

southern france exploded all steaks

to become french mince meat

and made a giant pie

.Many mouths came to feed

nourished by the five words

of one thousand small places

United together in epicurean heaven

bonded by many hearts alive

in a palimpsest of souls.

world whale webbies thank you

for this wonderful contribution to

with a social phobia because

I sadly lack grammar skills

I thank you very much

for the bowl of soup

Grace, love, friendship, work, life.

Someone stole my whale tail

get forensics onto it stat

It worked! we got onstage:)

sailing along with the whales

whales also have bellybuttons too

Passion,peaceful statement, freedom found?

In the trunk of the

or a midget in a

, im lost for words

its like a plastic exploding

whale pod sited winners delighted

and they are confused

use my language and celebrate

English. In other words we

Five words is not enough.

Cried the uninventive whiners. Five

words is more than enough

to tell the story of

THE CRAB HAMMER!!!!! I want

to move it move it!

don't be still, cat

Purr like you mean it.

this story has turned shit

into fairy floss wrapped kittens

Cats made it to stage

right, then exit stage left.

They ran into the house

music DJ from San Fran

gave himself the best chance

kittens zipped in bannana skins

alphabets in every tongue, salivating

tigers prowling chain link fences

appeared in pictographic thoughtbubbles.

and so it began the

ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny

hate story yuly dum sutup

hey you dum bums lol

Remy Loves Victoria Ann Munoz.

Peter Piper picked a pepper

,but he was allergic so

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